Other Poison Devils
by Cetsunai
Summary: Vignettes in the days of the lives of: Tohma, Yuki, Mika, and two guys who just wanted some food. It should all be so easy, but the script is complicated and static gets in the way.
1. Other Poison Devils

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Other Poison Devils  
_Version: Tohmavision_

Disclaimer: I own nothing of value, so I certainly don't own Gravitation. This takes place in an alternate universe before Yuki and Shuichi meet. It was inspired by the song "Counting Bodies like Sheep to the Rhythm of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle. I recommend listening to it. Edited for formatting.

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_Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window  
Go back to sleep  
Safe from pain and truth and choice  
__and other poison devils,  
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. _

Tohma had been standing by the entrance long enough for his legs to stiffen. The room before him was shrouded in darkness except for the single street light pouring through the window. It highlighted the golden head resting on the sill.

"Eiri..." Tohma had nothing more to say. If he could, he would have wrapped Eiri up in cotton long ago, and no one would have ever heard from them again. Not even Mika. Especially not Mika.

"I told you not to come here anymore," Rang stiffly through the room as Yuki turned his head slightly to glare at Tohma from his stooped position. Yuki's red-rimmed eyes were narrowed spitefully and his mouth was pursed with unhappiness. He knew the real reason Tohma was there and he would never give in, never give Tohma what he wanted. They both knew this, but it was the game they played.

Stretching out first one, then the other leather-clad leg, Tohma began picking his way through the trash-scattered apartment. The dimness hid his progress until he was right beside Eiri.

"Eiri, you know I would protect you," he stated gravely, gazing at the golden orbs before him, "I would do anything for, I have done anything for you. I would keep you safe from anything."

"But can you keep me safe from you?"

Tohma stared at the lowered brows and frustrated expression of the man before him. Eiri looked defeated in this dark room, surrounded by beer cans, and abandoned reams of paper, failed novels returned by his agent.

"Go to sleep, Eiri, or I'll sic Mika after you tomorrow." It was the best Tohma could come up with. He had no resources for this situation, no defense against the tragically crushed figure before him.

"Back away." Yuki's tone was stiff and resigned.

Shadow fell on Tohma as the man before him stood, blocking out the light spilling through the casement and Tohma quickly followed Eiri's instructions. He made his way back to the entrance he had become so intimately acquainted with from this and previous visits. Yuki wearily went to the closed door of his bedroom, pausing with one hand on the knob, the other buried in his disheveled hair.

"Get out," he said, without turning and slammed the door shut behind him.

Tohma sighed, "No one will ever understand you like I do."

The empty room had no answer for him. The lock clicked to the bedroom.

Tohma left.

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	2. Gypsy Moth's Realm

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Gypsy Moth's Realm  
_Version: Yukiverse_

Disclaimer: Check first chapter, title taken from Richard Shindell's song "On a Sea of Fleur de Lis" as well as a few lines. Thank you so much everyone who reviewed. Edited for formatting.

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The slamming of the apartment door rattled the windowpanes in the bedroom. The room seemed vacant and abandoned with no pictures on its white walls and nothing to mark the personality of the owner. Then again, maybe in that way, it did. 

With shaking hands and tightly shut eyes, Yuki hunched over beside the door. The floor dug uncomfortably into his kneecaps and bit into his cheek. It was covered in the same golden floorboards as the rest of the apartment, but unlike their polished and refined surface, the bedroom floor had gouges, scratches, and burns to mark the passage of time and temperament of the man who occupied this space.

Fists digging into his eyes, mouth gaping and hollow, and unable to do more than gasp for breath in an awful visceral way, Yuki was shattered. He could not get his stomach muscles to unclench enough to inhale.

His soul was blackened. There was no way around, no way back. And every second of every minute of every hour of every day that Tohma was around him, it was as if that moment was happening again. Those old memories haunted him forever, but he never felt them so keenly, as when Tohma was there to remind him. When he got himself back together, he would mark today with a black circle on his calendar.

There were a lot black circles, too many for him to deal with without breaking sometimes. But what got to him more than anything else was the pity he glimpsed in Tohma's eyes. It made him sick. It made him broken, more than anything else. Yuki was exquisitely broken china in Tohma's eyes, to fine to abandon, but too cracked to put on display for anyone else to find.

The phone rang.

Yuki choked and let the answering machine pick it up, the vaguely feminine machine voice instructing the caller to leave a message after the beep.

"Are you there?" The caller demanded aggressively. "I hate….damn machi…Pick. Up. The. Phone. I know Tohma just lef……apartment." Static. "…freezing us out, Eiri, please. Please."

Yuki shifted so he was lying on his back now, listening to his sister break down on his machine. This moment had been documented on tape many times before and Yuki kept them all, not that anyone else would know. There was a stack of tapes in his closet with Mika crying/screaming/threatening/cajoling (rinse, repeat ad nauseum) Yuki to rejoin the living. This stark familiarity settled his nerves, letting his stomach unclench. He sucked breath deep into his lungs, holding it until it burned and black spots danced in front of his eyes.

He lived, in his way. The world on his terms was different than for anybody else. Mika and Tohma didn't…couldn't understand that, although they should by now realize he wasn't going to change.

Yuki found a crumpled cigarette that had been pushed into the dirty corner of the room. It was half-smoked and tobacco was falling through a tear in the paper, but it was relief against the pain.

Yuki lit up the cigarette while Mika pleaded with him, "Are you there?" Static. "…give enough? Do..y…give a damn? Eiri!"

Static.

Yuki crushed his cigarette into the floorboards.

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	3. Do You Love This World Yet?

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Do You Love This World Yet?  
_Version: Mikaverse_

Disclaimer: Characters, not mine, I just like to make the puppets dance. Mwahaha! Chapter title taken from _Ireland_ by Jess Klein, I recommend listening to it. P.S. if you haven't realized it yet, this slice-of-life set isan 'AU-y mess-before-Shuichi-universe' living in my head.

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_  
Green enough to be your heaven,  
Green enough to be your sea,  
Greener than the rolling hills,  
Could you ever see that in me?_

Mika knew it was going to be one of those days when Tohma didn't come home for dinner. Their marriage did not have many rules, but the golden rule was that they always knew where the other was going to go after work. But Tohma didn't call today, and he did not come home. Dinner had congealed on the table and in Mika's stomach. 

She knew what that meant. She knew where he was, she knew what he was doing. And he, oh Tohma, he knew that Mika knew. It was something they would never discuss except for the silent avoidance of eyes as accusations were driven into the paint. The night of clenched fists and lowered heads was upon them once again. If the walls in their home could talk, the air would be blue. Sometimes Mika was so sure their marriage was perfect, and then nights like this one happened. If she could curse fate, she would. And she would stab Yuki Kitazawa's fucking eyes out, slowly, with great care. And a wooden spoon.

From her position across the street, Mika could see into the shadows of Eiri's apartment. A shadow approached the living room window, only to be overtaken by a larger shadow. Suddenly, all shadows vanished. Mika ducked deeper into her seat, unsure how to take this. She was pretty sure this meant Tohma was leaving but what if this one time, Eiri was weak…

Tohma appeared in the entrance to the apartment building. Mika observed his fists dug deep into his jacket pockets, his hat pulled low, and the wrinkle between his brows. The one only she noticed. Things had not ended well. The tension she hadn't realized had tightened her shoulders, and squeezed her stomach, eased and vanished. Mika hadn't realized she had been holding her breath until she involuntarily sighed.

The steering wheel made a good resting place for her head.

It was time. The ringing was made tinny in the confines of Mika's car. Mika held the phone up to her ear, but didn't really expect to get an answer. The answering machine's mechanically female voice caused a sharp headache to develop behind Mika's eyes. It made her voice sharper than she meant it to be.

She sucked a breath in with the beep and demanded, "Are you there? I hate this goddamn machine. Pick. Up. The. Phone. I know Tohma just left your apartment."

A beat.

"Please stop freezing us out, Eiri, please. Please."

Mika closed her eyes. This was so fucking rote by now. Every note, every nuance, had already been scripted and played before, God only knew if her brother even listened to them. She suspected he erased them without bothering.

With her eyes still shut, Mika felt the familiar rage wrap around her. It wasn't rage at Eiri, it wasn't even rage for him, instead it was a protective bubble of anger wrapped around Eiri, and the thoughts of anyone who hurt him and the continued realization that she had let him down. If she could she would destroy and recreate the world to make her loved ones happy, she would. Tohma never understood her. No one could really. Inside her, a big sister's need to protect, and the knowledge that she had already failed was hardwired into her core. Eiri was a tattered bear, and no matter how many times she tried to sew up his tears, he always broke the needle.

_You think I don't understand  
But I understand_

Imagining him laying alone in his apartment, Mika could not keep the pleading note from her voice, "Are you there? I only want to help you, why can't you let me do that! Can't I give enough? Do you honestly think I don't give a damn? Eiri! Imagining you up there alone…please let me be there."

Eiri's machine clicked off and Mika's phone was beeping in her ear. Interesting, who knew it would look so much nicer on the floor in pieces. She spent a few minutes collecting herself. The ignition caught on the first turn of the key. She straightened in the front seat, put the car in drive, and glanced in the rear-view mirror.

No traffic.

Mika drove away.

_When you look at me, do you love this world yet?  
Or do you see how much better it could get?_

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	4. Just Destiny

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Say Goodbye

_Version: Shu-time

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_Disclaimer: Not mine, yo. This web we weave; an intersection before time. Some things are just destined.

Only the pink-haired boy's long-armed friend saved him from being side-swiped by a speeding car. Shuichi and the sidewalk became intimate partners anyway, but it was better than the car. Shuichi made an inarticulate sound; a mix of pain, relief, and anger. His knee and right palm were bleeding. 

Hiro ran a few feet shaking his fist and shouting at the departing car; left only with the quick impression of brown hair and a resolute express. Damn woman drivers anyway. She hadn't even noticed she almost ran someone over!

"Did you see that!" Shuichi exclaimed while angrily shoving his bleeding knee at Hiro. "That car tried to kill me!"

In an abrupt change of mood, Shuichi curled up into a ball of bright pink hair, orange sweater, and cargo shorts, making himself as small as possible and weeping. "You PUSHED me, Hiro!"

"Id-i-ot."

Shuichi whimpered at the reply and swiped a hand across his face. It left a trail of smeared blood and snot.

Hiro shook his head and pulled Shuichi off the sidewalk. He carefully kept an arm around his smaller friend. Shuichi's balance was precarious at the best of times; bleeding and crying tripled the threat of him winding up back on the ground, possibly crying louder. Hiro began steering Shuichi to their original destination: the nearby McDonalds.

"C'mon, Shu, we'll get you cleaned up in there and I'll even buy your lunch, ok?" Hiro swiped a hand through Shuichi's hair and felt him stop shivering.

Shuichi snuggled under his taller best friend's arm and let out a sheepish chuckle. "Thanks, Hiro."

They limped their way into McDonalds and made their way to the bathroom. Hiro stopped Shuichi by the doorway.

"Stay here," he commanded. Hiro knew if Shuichi got a look at the blood smeared across his face the boy would freak out again. The weird looks the McDonald's employees had given them had worried the pink-haired boy enough.

Dampening a length of paper towel with warm water and soap, Hiro resolutely approached Shuichi and attacked his face before any of the blood and snot could dry any further.

"Hiiirrrrooooooooo," Shuichi whimpered pitifully, scrunching his head against the wall and tucking his chin down, "I'm not a little kid!"

"With the amount of whining you're doing, no one could tell." Hiro said, grabbing Shuichi's chin in his hand and forcing his forward again. He continued wiping.

Finally, he deemed Shuichi blood-free and stepped back, allowing Shuichi to continue further into the bathroom and the mirror.

Shuichi sat on the counter while Hiro cleaned the dirt and pebbles away from his knee with a paper towel and water from the sink. The pink haired boy sniffled occasionally but let Hiro do his best. After Hiro declared the knee sufficiently clean, Shuichi carefully washed the germs and blood off his right hand. They didn't have any bandages so they carefully wound layers of paper towels around Shuichi's knee and right palm.

Hiro was looking at his pink-haired friend with exasperation while Shuichi fussed with the paper towels, trying to get them to stay secured. The red-haired man's eyes softened and he let out a sigh. He watched his arms in the mirror as they reached out and gathered his friend near. Hiro closed his eyes and burrowed into the back of his friend's neck.

"I'm glad you're ok."

Shuichi's eyes softened and he twisted around enough to throw his arms around the redhead's body.

"Hiro…"

They both missed the door opening and a blond man scowling at the sight of them before sweeping out.

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	5. Fear is the Heart of Love

Fear is the Heart of Love  
_Version: Tohma v. Mika_

Disclaimer: Check first chapter, also long time, no write, yeah? Not sure if this quite fits in or if it quite brings across what I'm trying to say.

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The meeting of minds:

Breakfast was a strained event.

Some mornings, it was calm and fulfilling, other times it was light-hearted and fun. While yet more times, it was more like this morning: strained, angry, and punctuated by the scrape of forks on china plates, but little food actually consumed.

Mika was silent throughout, but her gaze burned.

Tohma sighed before finally speaking up, "I know. I know I shouldn't have, I know I should let it go."

Mika still said nothing because sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

"I'm _sorry_."

She closed her eyes.

When she opened them, her eyes were resigned and Tohma hated that. He hated putting that look on her face, that look that said she knew she was second best. He didn't mean to; it just happened that way sometimes. And it wasn't true, Tohma dealt with Yuki with a single-mindedness that came from needing the problem solved but not actually knowing how to fix it.

A responsibility burned through him for the way Yuki's life had turned out. One that no one else could or should feel, one that he knew he had no reason to feel so deeply, but was there none the less, a candle he couldn't put out. He was usually so good with words, with melodies, with being in touch and in tune, _it was his job_, but for the life of him, he could not find the right ones to ease the burden of the one he loved the most or douse the inferno of recrimination that burned inside his gullet.

Because he knew he was undeserving of that love. He knew that if he had not come in her life, everyone's world would be different.

Mika's beautiful face was hardened. Her gaze was focused just off to the left of his face.

Tohma knew today would be a long day.

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He knew the words that might ease both their burdens but he couldn't get them out. They burned in his chest like the heaviest of steps, so hard to take the first one. Or maybe they wouldn't ease the burden any longer? He knew that their life together was getting harder, a harder burden on both of them and like a plane wreck, he didn't know how to stop it.

Mika called the cook to come clear the dishes and left the room.

Tohma looked at the extravagant breakfast laid out between their two chairs and the half eaten portions on Mika's plate and his own mostly-full plate. He set his fork down and pushed his chair back. Tohma left the room

Mika had settled into a chair in the study and was applying all her attention to the book she had in her lap.

Tohma knelt in front of her, placing his hands on the chair's arms boxing her in. His blue eyes gazing into her eyes, they were glistening suspiciously.

She couldn't stand it very long.

"_What_?" She snapped while throwing the book down and tensing her legs against his chest.

"You think I love him best, or want him more?"

Her bottom lip quivered but her eyes hardened and the glistening grew dimmer.

Tohma couldn't stand to see more light in his Mika die, "It's you, you know, even when it's him. It's always you. It's confusing and I know it makes no sense. But every time I try to help him, I'm trying to help myself be _more_. Be a better man, be all that you need. All that I couldn't be in the past. All that I should've been for you and for him and for your family. All that I promised because you brought me in and you loved me. Loved me for more than me and there used to be this _light_ in your eyes, Mika. This light that burned and said I could do anything... it's so dim now..." Tohma touched her lips; their quivering had intensified.

If his attention hadn't been so focused one her lips he would have seen the widening of her eyes and the softness that puddled in their depths.

Mika brushed her fingers through his blond hair and tipped his face fully up to hers. "Anything," she whispered and her eyes remembered seeing his face like this when they both were younger and the world a much brighter place. She'd forgotten the magic that had gleamed from his eyes from the beginning. It had been overwhelming the night he'd asked her to marry him, but it seemed somehow larger now than it had been then.

Tohma pushed up against her and captured her lips in a kiss.

Mika let him.

Life had just moved forward unexpectedly.

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